On Expectations

I have travelled a lot over the last few years, at work and otherwise. Me being me, I always seek and enjoy a good conversation, and end up talking to fellow travellers and colleagues.

When we get down to talking about work, life, and career growth, many talk about disappointments when it comes down to salary increments and promotion.

Am sharing here some thoughts that I share with them; this was shared on LinkedIn in 2020.

Many of us in life have planted a seed, or a sapling. We spend a lot of time, effort, and emotion in tending to the plant. We watch it grow over the weeks, months, and years.

But can we ever influence the plant, to bear a flower or a fruit when we want it to? Can we say “give me so many flowers or fruits of this shape or size”. Can we define how the flower should smell, or the fruit should taste?

Everybody responds with the obvious – of course not.

But it is also true, that if we take care of the plant, then it will always bear flowers or fruits. At unexpected moments. And these usually end up pleasantly surprising us. A real feel good in life.

So then, when we work, and work hard on building our career, how can one expect one’s efforts to bear fruit at a place and time that one wants it to.  This ‘want’ is an expectation that is unrealistic. And more often than not, it will not be met – further leading one to being dissatisfied or demotivated.

So what is happening here? An unrealistic expectation leads to dissatisfaction and impacts one’s working. This may also lead to one making a change in the role or company.

Would one remove a plant from one place in the garden and re-plant it elsewhere just because it did not bear fruit or flowers at one’s ask? Of-course not! Then why do it at the work place? It is just being unfair to oneself.

KEY LESSON FROM THE MAHABHARAT:

When Dronacharya and Kripacharya were teaching archery to the young Kauravas and Pandavas, most saw the sky, clouds, birds, trees and the others around them. Only one saw ‘the eye’.

One should define for one-self ‘the eye’ that one wants to target. This ‘eye’ should never be a Position or a Title or a Designation. It must always be the skills, attitudes and knowledge that one can add through intense experience. These are permanent. They are the foundation on which the career growth takes place.

THE BALANCE SHEET OF LIFE:

Every Organization has a life. We know that. And we know that the Balance of Sheet of an Organization has its Assets equal to its Liabilities.

The higher the value of the Assets, stronger is the Organization.

Similarly, one of the way’s in which the Balance Sheet of Life can be defined is Pleasure is equal to Pain.

Here, Pleasure is defined as ‘what makes you feel good up in your head’, and Pain is defined as ‘what you need to endure to get the Pleasure’.

The greater the Pleasure, i.e. the more one does to make one feel good in the head, the stronger one becomes.

When one understands this, the ‘clouds or thunder or rain or despair or disappointments and so on’ in life will not come in the way of achieving ones’ ‘eye’.